I'm a victim - Part 2

"I put her through school" ...Works PT for her best friend.." But doesn't get paid!!! LOL - the jokes on you, sugar daddy!

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"Tells me we bought two lesson horses for her.....which I don't want" But SHE wanted them, so she got them. It's obvious who wears the pants in your family!! What a man.....

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"Bertha has methodically pushed my farm away from what my passion always was and now I don't have room/time for what I want to do." Wahhhhh - poor boy - and you have no control on what happens at YOUR farm do you??? .

"And through her actions (but not words however) makes it pretty
clear to me that my needs or wants are pretty low on her priorities list." And by your chasing after me, it is pretty clear that her wants or needs are pretty low on YOUR list!!! No wonder she does what she wants and couldn't care less if you are upset by her spending your money.

Does this guy sound like a spineless wimp or what???

I'm a victim - Part 1

Wow - he slams Bertha pretty quickly to convince me that he is going to leave her. I simply asked him how long he had been miserable with Bertha - he said from even before they were married!!! And why would he be so stupid to marry her if that were true?

"Bertha used sex to get what she wanted. Me" Talk about an ego.

"She pursued me rather intently" And what a prize Lurch turned out to be.

"she cheated on him" Sounds like Lurch and Bertha are perfect for each other - Lurch has a well known history of cheating on his wives. And he sure tried to cheat on her with me!!!



And who wants a man who will so readily share such sordid details?

Exaggerations

Of all the thousands of text messages that Lurch sent me, this is the most bizarre: "Probe length 7-8 in fully ext. Dia: 1.5 est. Insertion depth: variable. Sensitivity:environmentally dep. Excitation: chemical."

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This would be worthy of being posted on WWHM!! First of all, does he really think I would have sex with him based upon his penis size??? Not in a million years..............

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Second of all, if you give dimensions, they damn well better be accurate. No matter if my hand is wrapped around a straw or a double stuffed burrito, the distance between my thumb and pinkie when extended is EXACTLY 7". My thumb to the first knuckle is 1" and my pinkie to the first knuckle is 3/4".(I do a lot of home improvement projects and don't always have a regular ruler handy) I can measure nearly any cylinder and be accurate within 1/8". Note to Lurch- get rid of your fisherman's ruler.

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Third - Lurch believes that size is the most important characteristic of a penis. Newsflash: if a woman is given the choice between a large cucumber that is mushy and gets you wet as soon as you touch it or one that is not quite as large but is very firm and stays that way as long as SHE wants, the second one will win everytime. Note to Lurch - don't use a marshmallow to get in the door - it can't get in and just makes a sticky mess for the door owner to clean up - so I have been told.

I want to catch up with Elizabeth Taylor

Bertha Butt is his third or fourth wife. Poor thing - or maybe not!!! - more on that later....

One of Lurch's co-workers told me that Lurch thinks he is God's gift to women - what do you think?

Mr. Double Chin

#3 Clue

I told him I had absolutely no interest in having an affair with a married man. He told me "I completely understand - I would never do that to you - I'm divorcing my wife - I really mean it. It's been over between Kelly and me for awhile"

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What he really means: "I want to use you so I am going to have to make up shit to convince you"

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If he really meant it he would have said: "I am really interested in you - I will call you when I am divorced because I respect you"

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Doesn't that horse look pissed? Ears are back and he's forcing his head up to 'pet' him.

Bozo

#2 Clue
"My wife and I don't have sex anymore - she is just not interested in me and I am divorcing her"
Hahahahahahahaha (I couldn't believe he pulled that tired old card out of his pocket)

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What he really means: "I am totally bored - we fuck, but it's not exciting"
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If he really meant it he would have said: "I have moved out"

The first sign

#1 Clue: "I am leaving my wife - we have nothing in common. Just give me time to settle things with her and get a divorce."

What he really means: "I am going to see how much I can use you before you realize I have NO intention of leaving my wife"

If he really meant it he would have said; "I have an appointment with my divorce lawyer next Tuesday at 3PM"

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Note the Parelli training - you dress up to play games with the horse, you never actually ride it (note that there is no bridle). Nice helmet - NOT. That's the $400 Parelli saddle pad - LOL "A fool and his money are soon parted" http://www.parelli.com/product.faces?catId=22