Friday, December 11, 2009

Tiger and Lurch - separated at birth

I'm sure everyone has heard about the Tiger fiasco the last couple of weeks - it's all over the news. What a major AH!!!! When I read a couple of the texts he wrote to one of his mistresses, I nearly spewed my coffee all over my keyboard! Is there a warehouse for pickup lines for losers? It sure seems so - Tiger and Lurch used nearly the same ones. The text that caught my eye was this one from Tiger to Rachel Uchitel:
I finally found someone I connect with, someone I have never found like this. Not even at home. Why didn't we find each other years ago? (see

This is the text I got from Lurch:
I feel like after 156 years, I finally found someone I WANT 2 talk 2. Yeah I think of doing more than talking, >:-), but its talking & laughing that I think about alot. Definitely a new thing 4 me.

As you can see, it the same type of BS - all lies to try to make a woman feel 'special' - ooooh you're the only one - I've been looking for YOU all my life. Hah...
So after I got that text, of course I asked him what he really meant by it and if he really meant what it seemed like he texted. Naturally, he tells me that he feels like he has waited all his life to find me - no one else has ever made him feel as good as he does when he is near me or talking to me. He has NEVER had such a connection with ANYONE else EVER- it is so 'speschul.' Then he throws in the BS about Bertha and him not connecting on ANY level and the huge mistake it was to marry her on the rebound and how he could not wait till he could get rid of her to be with me.

Oh, gag me. If that were really true, he would not have been going home to his (as we know now - stupid/desperate/gullible) wife. But, oh wait, he was sleeping on the couch!!!

If he really meant it: he would have gone to a lawyer to begin the divorce proceedings and moved out into the barn (or in with his parents or wherever) until Bertha was gone.

What he really meant: I was trying to impress you so that you would have sex with me. I thought if I could make you think that I found you extra super duper triple dipple special beyond belief, you would give me some 'p'!!!


I guess it worked for Tiger because he is worth $$$$$$$$$$$$$ and the bimbos he found were looking to get a chunk of it. How sad. Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas.  It's probably working for Lurch too - there are plenty of desperate women out there looking for a man to 'complete' her (or support her is more like it).  He simply needs to stay within or below his league and not try to move way up.

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